It can Happen in your Bubble

In November of 2024, Syracuse City Court Judge Felicia Pitts Davis presided over the marriage of a heterosexual couple. Afterwards, when a lesbian couple approached the judge for the same service, she allegedly walked out of the courtroom, citing a religious disagreement. If I had heard about this happening in a different city in a maybe more conservative state, I would be less surprised. I would rant about how it’s disgusting that that sort of discrimination is happening in “one of those states” and how great it is that my home is “so much more progressive”. But this was not “one of those states”. This was in my hometown.

I always claim to believe that discrimination can happen anywhere, but by biases and hypocrisy were exposed when I read this news. I was shocked when it happened in my own backyard. My shock is part of a bigger problem.

The couple was able to get married minutes later when another judge stepped up. Judges are not legally required to perform marriage ceremonies, but—at least in New York State—if they choose to perform marriages, they can’t discriminate against couples that they may not agree with. It was great that there was a judge who could perform the ceremony, but that couple did not deserve to be held in limbo because another judge held prejudices.

Outside of the reported discrimination and the fact that there were people in the courts who tried to cover up the incident, I was irritated by the blended mix of ignorance and outright bigotry coming from some community members. I was less annoyed with the “family values” and “religious liberty” crusaders because those voices are usually the loudest in a room even when their opinions do not relate to the topic at had. I was most annoyed with the people who claimed that they just did not see what the problem was. They are the people saying, “Why not just find another judge?”, “Well, she has a freedom to her religion”, or “What’s the big deal?” The big deal is that this would never have happened to a straight couple in 2024.

Reading about this type of news is angering as a queer person. The legalization of same-sex marriage is recent history in the United States. Anyone who knows anything about history in the long term knows that progress is fragile. Rights are not given to us and progress is not consistent. If we don’t constantly claim our rights, then the progress that we have made can break. People who have not had to continuously hope and work for progress don’t have to think about how their existence and literal wellbeing could be impacted if laws were to change or if elected officials decided to put their personal beliefs before the people.

This is not a situation that we have to imagine. People already use religion and personal beliefs as excuses to discriminate against people. It is a reality that many of us in this country have to live knowing that some people believe that their religious beliefs are important than the lives of their fellow citizens. How far does the excuse of religious freedom go? If our judges can participate in unequal treatment, what is stopping landlords, employers, or businesses from doing the same? In some places across the country, there are people who want to try taking that excuse to those extremes. But in my neat, northern bubble, for a minute, I forgot that things like this can happen anywhere.

I am a citizen of my home just as much as those two women who wanted their relationship officially recognized by the state are. And I am a citizen of my home just as much as that judge who refuses to perform same-sex marriages is. The way we stand up to injustice like this is to act like citizens and keepers of our communities. Our community is our home. We must listen to neighbors and look out for one another. We have to sign petitions, research the positions of our elected officials, and much when called upon. And we need to keep speaking out and not let our allies forget that we exist.

I am lucky and privileged to live where I live and I’ve learned to appreciate the place I am from. But my bubble is not perfect. There are changes that need to happen in my bubble.